Instead, I was working for the next few hours.  But, I got to speak to my mother, and my two sisters and caught up with them about what was happening in my life…

At around 6 pm, I jumped to the coffee shop round the corner to meet another friend for a quick drink, shared a few stories and went to my massage appointment with the Thai ladies.  I thought they’d give me a discount so I sang them a song that I learned in Thai when I was really young (trust me not to forgot the words!).  The funniest thing is that the masseuse started singing along with me… Refreshed and relaxed, I started to make my way to Piazza Navona, one of my favorite spots (touristy but oh so charming!).  I got there and thought to myself, it’s Friday night, I have no plans, I am all alone, why don’t I take myself out on a date?

And so I did.  All on my own.   I stood in line at one of Rome’s most famous pizzerie, asked for a table for one and invited myself out to dinner.  I ordered a delicious pizza, enjoyed a small caraffe, watched people and was happy being on my own.  After dinner, I treated myself to some gelato and made my way home.

And to end this perfect evening, as I was crossing Via del Corso, I came across the famous Mille Miglia race who were ending the race in Rome.  One vintage car after the other was passing right there in front of me.

What more can I ask for to end my 34 years?

aaaah la dolce vita!

On a last minute whim, my friend and I decided to make a swift jump to the Cinque Terre.  I had always heard about that area but never really explored it in detail.  All I knew was that you could only get to them by foot (and no it’s not walking, it’s hiking, or by train).  Obviously, we chose the more adventurous route… And so, on a Friday afternoon, backpack in hand (only!), we made it to the train station and off we were – dirrezzione La Spezia.  The train ride took around 4 hours but the things we saw on the way to our final destination were beautiful.  We passed through Argentario, an area by the sea, some Tuscan villages, the rolling hills of Tuscany, Pisa, a few more villages and towns by the sea and finally we arrived in La Spezia.  We changed train and 10 minutes later, we were in Monterosso Al Mare, the first of the 5 villages we were visiting.  Simply breathtaking!

We located our hotel up on a hill overlooking the town and off we were.  After a quick freshening up, we were on our way for what has become a daily ritual in my life: an aperitivo.   Soon after we were sitting at a restaurant having what might be the best meal I’ve had so far since I’ve set foot in Italy.  For starters a perfect seafood salad and for main, we shared a Trenette alla pescatriche.  Delicious does not give the meal any justice, it was that good!!

The next morning after a healthy breakfast, and a real Italian cappuccino, we started our ‘hike’.  The scenery and the nature, the smell of jasmine which was lingering in the air, the expansive blue sea below us was so overpowering that we had to stop every 5 minutes to take photos.  I have not seen such natural beauty before.  The backdrop of the sea, against the green mountain was really a sight to see.  And so as we hiked from Monterosso Al Mare, exchanged stories, passed people, faces and scenery, an hour and a half later, we approached Vernazza, village number 2.

We could see it in a distance, almost hanging in the air.  We got there, dropped our backpacks at Lulu’s rooms (cute name) and made our way to the village to explore the one main street and piazza they had.  As it so happens in the least expected situations, we bumped into people we knew from Saudi Arabia in a town of 500 people!  Now tell me that’s not a small world!

We had our refreshing granitas, and off we were to town number 3 – Corniglia.  Supposedly another hour and a half away, with a little diversion we ended up hiking for 3 hours.  At least the last part was downhill!  As you’d have it, we arrived as the restaurants were closing for lunch so we had to make do with a small bakery selling focaccia (a Ligurian specialty) with all kinds of different toppings imaginable… Pesto, another Ligurian specialty was the focaccia of choice (among quite a few others!)

We took the train back to Vernazza, where we had dinner at a restaurant overlooking the sea.  This time, the meal of choice was a zuppa di pesce (fish soup) and oh wow!  By 9:30 pm we were ready to hit the sack.  Early the next morning, we made our way to Manarola, village 4 and from there on walked on Via Dell’Amore where people have written declarations of love all along the way, left lockets without keys hanging on the cliff side… Quite romantic but not really sure this technique works.

Finally, we arrived in village number 5, Riomaggiore.  It took us less than 5 minutes to cover the whole town.  And then finally we were on our way back…

And so, today, I thought I’d take it up a notch and literally live like an Italian… So after my day in Italian class and a bit of work in the morning, I walked home and on the way decided to skip lunch and go for a gelato instead.  I’ve avoided gelato since I got here but today I thought why not?  And what a treat that was!

I got home and started working on my emails.  About a half hour later, my phone starts ringing and it’s a call from a special Nadia…  She asks me to go meet her for a coffee and I of course accept!  I decide to unleash all the words and phrases I have learnt and it feels so good to speak Italian!  I feel like I have been introduced and accepted into the Italian way of life…

I then decide to take it up a notch, I changed into my gym clothes and headed towards Villa Borghese for a run in the park.  Wow!  That must have been one of the most gratifying hours since I’ve been here.  The greenery, the people, the sun, the feeling of running in the open air was too much to handle, I didn’t want it to end.  I remember thinking to myself, I don’t want to go home.    The sun shining at around 5:40, the people riding bicycles, the lovers laying on the grass… perfect.  And to end it all, during my cool down, I decided to pick up a daisy and play ‘he loves me, he loves me not’…  It turns out: ‘he loves me not’ but who cares I am in Rome!

By the time I arrived home, I had already made plans for the evening… An aperitivo, dinner with a friend and the perfect conversation to end the evening.  Who could ask for more?

Settling in was very easy.  After unpacking, setting up a Whywander workstation at home and filling the apartment with quirky things that makes the space homey, I can easily call this new place home, at least for the next couple of months.

I quickly took advantage of being in a city that I love and on my first night, went out, and met people who I can now call friends.  When you’re outside your comfort zone, you push the limits and get to practice your personality with strangers and sometimes, if you’re caught in the right moment, it’s so much fun!

And so the adventure of being in a new place continues… Whywander gets invited to an Easter lunch at an Italian home, did you think we’d decline this invitation?  Never!   And so after several courses, plenty of stories with the Italians, we’re home again, ready to tackle what the next day has in store for us.

Happy Easter everyone!

There’s something to be said about that feeling of complete freedom.  There’s absolutely nothing like it…hurling yourself out of a plane is crazy but the adrenaline rush is just indescribable.

Would we do it again?  No doubt about that!

If you’d like to watch the experience, click on this link:  Whywander in the sky!

After having had one of the best night’s sleep, I woke up feeling refreshed and ecstatic that in a few hours, I would finally be able to have my first shower in a whole week!  I saw Twinkle Toes staring at herself in the mirror and I asked her to hand it over.  I hadn’t seen myself physically in a whole week, and whatever it was that was going to stare back at me in the mirror was fine… I had done enough soul searching and looked at myself emotionally for a whole week, I was ready to face that face.  I was surprised, I looked relatively human!

We did our last minute packing and went out of our tents for our last breakfast with the whole team and our guides, and a little later a whole party started at 8 am.  I mean a party with 60 people who had joined us on our adventure; the porters, the cooks, the guides and the helpers.  They broke out into song and dance for half and we all joined them.  It was their way of congratulating us on having all made it to the top and part of what was called the ‘tipping ceremony’.  You could not wipe that smile off my face, I was in the best mood ever and couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel.  It was almost like I had conquered the world!

A few hours of descent into the jungle and a few heart to heart stories between myself and ‘Wet Wipe Boy 1’, we made it all the way down to the bottom.  We ‘checked out’ of the mountain, snapped a few photos and were on our way back to civilization, or almost.  After 2 hours in the car, we got to Arusha Hotel and I ran to my room.  The first thing I did was put my phone into the charger (I missed civilization!) and I slowly started taking off the layers.  The layers of dirt, emotions, feelings, and exhaustion that had accumulated on my body, and inside my body for the past week on Mount Kilimanjaro.  I must have stood under the shower for 45 minutes and it was the best shower I had ever taken.

The next time I saw the whole team was at our farewell dinner.  We all gathered around the table, shared a few laughs, ordered burgers which we had been craving on the mountain, celebrated Strong Bull’s birthday and then went back to our rooms ready to face a new life after conquering Kilimanjaro.

Reflecting on what had happened in the past week, I can easily sum up by saying that this life changing experience created lifelong friendships with people who a week before had been strangers to me, bonds that will tie us together for the rest of time on and off the mountain, memories that I will hopefully share with my children and grandchildren, a passion for charity work and a brand new love for the mountain…  Will I ever climb another mountain?  No one knows…

What happens from here on remains a mystery and I am looking forward to unraveling this new mystery and living every moment of it…

Marco, my guide, turned to me and said that we needed to start going down.  The rest of the group had already made a head start and I couldn’t even see them on the mountain.  The only person I could see was Pole Pole Sunshine, who shared weak knees like me!   I was about to collapse, my legs could not carry me anymore, but slowly we got out of the snow and as we went down further and further, everything started to change, the scenery, the feelings, the emotions, everything.  My body was slowly shutting down and I could no longer take the steps and the tears were streaming down my face involuntarily, I just wanted a helicopter to come pick me up from the mountain and take me all the way down.  Unfortunately what goes up must come down and by walking! Again, one foot in front of the other with such intense pressure and pain on the knees because of the steepness of the mountain.  Now, in broad daylight and for the first time, I was able to see what we had endured the night before and it was scary.

The feelings that I had while going down were not of accomplishment or pride.  No, there was nothing to be proud of, I was concentrating on how much of a weakling I was while climbing that mountain the night before and I was feeling even worse about how I was about to give up even going down.  I tried to have some happy thoughts but those were very difficult to come by in my head.  I opened up to Marco and told him about my whole journey, what it meant to me, and about what had happened at the top, emotionally.  He did not leave my side for a second and when he saw that I was completely struggling to stay standing, he took me by the arm and told me to completely let go and almost dragged me down that mountain.  A few major falls here and there and a few tears to follow, we would stop and rest before continuing the 4 hour ‘supposed’ journey to base camp.

The mountain was full of sand, stones, rubble, nothing like what we had seen from the top and it explained why we were dusty when we reached the peak a few hours before.  Whenever we stopped for a break, I fell asleep on the rock.  I was completely dehydrated, and we had no water with us, so I opted for juice and a pick me up energy snack but that wasn’t going to do it for me after what I went through the night before.  I looked for the rest of my team but I couldn’t see anyone except Pole Pole Sunshine who was taking it as slow as I was.  I fell a few times and during one of the falls, I heard my phone ring.  It must have been around 10 am, and obviously my family and friends were worried because I had not responded to any messages and I was climbing a mountain afterall!  I looked at my phone, contemplated not answering, but then I did.  It was my friend.  My friend who had supported me and helped and boosted me all throughout the most difficult experience of my life, making sure that I made it to the top.  In the midst of tears, I conveyed the message that we had all made it to the top and my friend was super proud.

In the far distance, I saw our camp and wondered how long it would take to get there.  I had to keep walking, there was no other solution.  On the way, I saw Strong Bull who had now become Frightened Mouse after last night’s experience, Squatting Bear, and Champion Mama, and all of them seemed exhausted.  Finally after more than 4 hours, climbing down the wall which we had climbed the night before, we made it to camp.  I could wait to see my tent…  As soon as I arrived, Peter, the head guide, told me I had an hour to rest and eat before continuing the journey down to 3000 meters.  No way! My body was craving sleep and rest and I couldn’t imagine how I would make it down.  I tried to sleep for half an hour but so much was going on in my head that it was difficult to fall asleep.  An hour later, Senesio emerged from his tent and gave me a magic potion ‘drink’.  He saved the day with a tiny bottle that gave me energy for the next 6 hours while we continued the journey down to 3000 meters.  Painful descent?  Yes.  But a walk in the park compared to the night before.

It got dark and we still hadn’t gotten to the next camp but at this point, no one cared…  We knew that somehow, hopefully we’d all get there in one piece.  And around 8:30 pm we finally made it to the last camp and celebrated with a well deserved Coke bottle, some dinner, hardly any conversation and a nice wet wipe shower and sleep…

We had walked a total of 18 hours that day and it was almost over.

Some of us were in despair, begging for some oxygen and some thought ‘I can’t go on’ but we were such a good team, we pushed each other, and we took off for another hour, step by step until we reached the top!  Somehow energized because the sun was out, I started walking with Noun by my side on the snow.  I stopped to look around and the views are breathtaking.  I was literally on top of the world.  I saw the sun shining on the glacier on the other side, the sun rising over the mountain and white everywhere.

As I was walking towards the peak, I saw people walking back, good sign I thought, maybe we’re close.  My pace became slower, I was no longer in a line with the rest of my team, and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing.  Some were taking power naps on the rocks, others were resting, some were trying to get warm by almost hugging the sun and I couldn’t stop, I knew that if I stopped for a break, that was the end for me.  Two thoughts were occupying my mind at that point, I just needed to get to the peak and put some unfinished business with the mountain to rest once and for all and I had also promised someone to pick up some volcanic rocks from the top and bring them back down to what seemed like earth.  Oh the pressure! Still no sign of the sign.  I wanted to stop the people walking back to ask them how long to go and was it worth it to get there?  I mean really, was it really worth it to get to that sign, snap a photo to show that I’ve made it after all that I have endured in the last 8 hours?  I kept charging forward, with very small steps and very short breaths until I saw Box & Senesio and I knew I had FINALLY made it to Uhuru peak!

I bent down to my backpack which I had abandoned (given to Noun) many hours ago and I pulled out all the flags, banners, photos, switched on my blackberry while we waited for our turn to take the photo.  Yes, it’s a tourist site where you have to wait in line to take a photo except that the conditions are completely different than taking a photo at the Fontana de Trevi in Rome!  Our turn came and we went on snapping photos left, right and centre.  I was exhausted and I couldn’t think of anything peaceful.  I was just happy that I made it to the top alive.  I didn’t even have time to process that I had made it, and that my whole team had made it including a 14, 17, 19, and 49 year old among all the others!  Nor did I have time to take it all in because the oxygen level was so low and I kept hearing my team members saying ‘I can’t breathe, I’m nauseous, I can’t stay longer, I am going down’.  But for me, it was a little different…

I decided to stay on top for a few more minutes (while I could still breathe) to try to take it all in, but there was absolutely no focus on my part.  I remember that the beauty of what lay around me, beneath me, and beside me was blinding.  I wish  I could have stayed there for longer but I couldn’t.  And in those last few minutes, I picked up a few volcanic stones, shoved them into my pocket, I made my peace with the mountain and forgave it, and I unknowingly left a very important piece of my life on the summit, where it deserves to be…

I manage to make it through for another hour until the next break.  It is pitch black and all you can see on the mountain are small headlights everywhere in one straight line, and the moon shining on us.  We stop for a couple of minutes and I could immediately see that quite a few of us had suffered badly, some members were just lying on the floor breathing heavily, I was crying, others couldn’t say a word and surprisingly, Mountain Princess, the Gazelle and Twinkle Toes seemed to be doing extremely well (even though they were the youngest).  I am still shivering in the cold and Noun & Marco (my savior) take my hands together and start rubbing them for me to keep me warm and we finally manage to close my jacket!  All I want to do at this point is wake up, and so I take a drastic measure and tell Marko to pour some of the unfrozen water that he has into my gloves (risking to get wet frozen hands), and I start rubbing my eyes for what seemed to be an eternity, trying to keep them open, and we continue.

We’re above 5000 meters, and it’s getting colder and the mountain is getting steeper, and the breathing is getting so much harder.  ‘One foot in front of the other until you make it to the top’ is all I can hear in my head.  At this point, I just need something to keep me going, so I open a line of communication with God and I start telling him to please put an end to this, make it easier, shorter, quicker, anything!!  I just want to see the end…  Champion Mama is in front of me and I start focusing all my energy on her as I can see that she’s swaying from left to right and I want to ask her if she’s ok, but the words won’t come out of my mouth.  I nudge Noun to check on her but he doesn’t.  It’s a scary sight to see her swaying in front of me, but it distracts me a little from what I am going through.  I continue talking to God and then an ‘angel’ appears and helps me through the next part of the climb.  I think I might have been hallucinating because in what I think was the last part of the climb, it felt like I had left my body and was looking at myself from above.  I can’t explain it, I don’t remember anything at all.  I don’t remember that my feet were moving, or that people were talking to me.

Next thing I know, I have the Box, and John Senesio, each on one side telling me that we’re less than an hour away to the peak.  I could feel the sun breaking through the dark sky and I start feeling just a tiny bit better.  They are next to me for the entire hour, each on one side, each whispering beautiful things in my ears.  They are sending me positive vibes, encouraging me, telling me what a great thing we have done, how many children we are going to help by having accomplished this, how I have inspired so many women by what I have done and that a specific angel is extremely proud of what I have achieved.   That was the longest hour of my life and each step that I took was a step less to give up, yet that was the only thought running in my mind, I want to quit.  This mental struggle was the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with…   The sun was rising and they made me stop, turn around for a second to see the sun and instantly, it all made sense.  This whole struggle and enduring the toughest challenge of my life made sense when I saw the sun.  Meanwhile, I saw Strong Bull, the Gazelle, Mountain Princess, Twinkle Toes all pass me and I knew the end was near.  I looked up and I was literally 10 steps away from the summit with the Box and Senesio by my side.

The peak (Stella Point) was partially covered in snow, the guides were celebrating and passing around cups of what seemed to be coffee/tea but it was just hot water (that had been kept in thermoses so as not to freeze overnight) and they were full of smiles.  I wish I could explain what I felt, but no words will give it justice.  As soon as I made it, I had an emotional breakdown and I was crying uncontrollably and hugging everyone.  I looked around to see that everyone had made it and we had, and an immediate sense of calm presided over me.  We had achieved something so much bigger than us…

A few minutes into congratulating each other and making sure that everyone was physically ok, we were told that we still had another hour to get to Uhuru Peak (where the sign was).  At this point, the sun is out and even though I am exhausted, I feel a renewed sense of self, and I think to myself I can hopefully do this!  What’s another hour to the last 7 which I had endured??  But I feel like I have a sense of duty to record this moment just before we continue, the moment when all 12 of us reached the top.  And somehow the switch from being a total emotional mess to becoming Boss Lady happens in less than a second, and I whip out my camera and take a photo of the whole group at Stella Point with the sun rising from behind us.

It’s 11:30 pm and Peter starts arranging us in one straight line with the slower team members at the front so that they can set the pace for the rest of the team.  We start climbing up, and get hit by our first hurdle of the night: a wall.  We scramble with our hands and feet and walking sticks and make it past the wall.  It’s freezing, and even though we’re well dressed, you can actually feel the cold in your bones, but the walking helps.  It’s -20° Celsius, the wind is slapping in my face but I am concentrating, so I am fine.  I have my ipod on, and I am listening to Coldplay and it’s keeping me going.  I want to sing along but I really can’t because I know that I need to conserve my energy.

When we stop for a quick break a couple of hours into the climb, I decide to make a quick bathroom run (my last for the next 11 hours) in the freezing cold and what a huge mistake that was.  Everyone in the line is waiting for me while I try to pull up my 5 layers, try to fix my ipod and close my jacket.  And I can’t.  I can’t close my jacket and can’t get my ipod to work and I start hearing grumpy complaints from the team.  So I run to Peter, the head guide, and ask him to help me zip up my jacket and as he tries, he looks at me and he tells me ‘I can’t close it, you’re too fat’.   I mean really, do you think this is the right time for such a joke???  I could have pushed him off the mountain but I didn’t.  At this point, the whole team is complaining, ‘come on let’s go’, and so I leave my jacket open, get back in line and we continue.  But this time, I am pushed forward to the front of the line because ‘you are too slow’.  If I had patience after the first sick joke he cracked, I definitely lost it now!  I started crying and telling Peter that this was not a competition and that we would all make it to the top… How insensitive!

I am walking and all I can see are my feet in front of me, through the headlight, while my head hangs down.  My thoughts are all over the place, and I am freezing as the wind slaps my chest and penetrates the layers.   There is no distraction for me, no ipod, just my thoughts, in my head, and my heavy breathing.  The silence is deadly.  I keep reminding myself, one foot in front of the other, that’s all you have to do,  but it’s so difficult.  I start getting very sleepy and all I want to do is close my eyes.  My friend told me that this would happen and that I should resist it, but my body was telling me to sleep and what it was actually doing was climbing a mountain.  Combination from hell indeed!

I can’t keep track of time, I don’t have a watch and I don’t want to ask how long it has been since we started, I am scared of the answer, so I ignore the time.  But I am exhausted, I am extremely tired and sleepy and I can no longer put one foot in front of the other.  I want a break.  The guides decide to give us a 5 minute break and I find myself a rock to sit on, I try to rest my face on my walking sticks without closing my eyes but I can’t keep them open.  And a voice from deep within me is telling me not to do that.  And so I stand up and go looking for Squatting Bear because I remembered that he was carrying some Vitamin C with him.  Don’t they usually say don’t take Vitamin C at night because you won’t sleep?  Well that’s a myth!!!   I chew the vitamin because my water has frozen already, and when I see the state of some of my team members, I feel a little better about myself.  I am not the only one suffering.  Mean but so true…

We get back in line, and slowly but surely, I am falling asleep while walking.  The guides notice that this is happening and they send ‘Noun’ to the rescue, and for the rest of the climb, Noun is next to me nudging me each time my eyes close and picking me / straightening me up every time I am about to stumble to the ground.   I start crying from how tired I feel, I am shivering in the freezing cold and all I can hear is empty silence.

At this point I am so ready to give up…
I am ready to completely give up, head back down the mountain and go home.